Life's Like This...

Its Graduation Time: Goodbye, Bricks...

2006-03-18T21:36:00.000+05:30

I owe an apology to my poor neglected blog...
After braving severe tsunamis of hectic days of exams and placements, with my course skidding to a seemingly sudden stop, I must admit that it has taken me some time to bring my mind back from the chaotic sprinkling of thoughts and set things in order.
The thought of my graduation in April, as always, manages to fill my heart with a deep vacuum that looks dark and sinister : the end of student life ? Where am I headed ? Whats in store for me in the future ?
One part of my mind battles with these questions, while the other pauses and ponders over the recent past and the wonderful two years I spent on campus at IIMA...

One sunny day I stepped over the threshold
Into a world filled with fortunes untold
Into a womb, brick-walled and red
Where only the fortunate and gifted, tread.

The campus was home for two long years
Where I overcame many of my fears.
The girl who went in, a child at heart
Emerged a professional, raring to start.

I may have grown from sapling to tree
But this will forever be a part of me...
Each square inch of the campus here
Is a part of my memories I'll ever hold dear.

My memories start with the famous ramp,
The evenings at LKP, a student's dream camp,
Of course, there's VSL for the sincere scholar,
And then the CT for the food connosieur.

First year saw me drowning in books...
Classrooms I knew, and the library's nooks.
Dreams of casemats were common then
Night-outs and exams that shook mightiest of men.

Along with WAC came the cultural shows
T-Nite and Music that enlivened the lows
Parties and practices that energised me
And strengthened me to face the examination sea.

Came second year with loads of leisure
B-plans, Conflu, work plus pleasure...
Chaos, Uno and the LAN's movie sea
And watching fachhas on a mugging spree!

Then came my turn to mug away-
Placements n prep ruled the day
A test of sorts, for the butterfly in me:
Fresh out of her cocoon - bold, was she...

The brick-walled fortress despite its flaws
Protected and nurtured the girl that I was;
Made me a woman, bold and strong
To face the world and right the wrong.

So many faces year after year
Pass 'neath these arches, that I hold dear
Achievers may come, achievers may go,
But the soul of the campus will forever glow.

As I bid a fond farewell to the familiar brick-walled buildings, I know that this sense of bonding I feel with the red bricks is a legacy passed through generations of WIMWI-ans and will forever bind us all together in some form or the other...

Curtains Down on 4th Term - Now Chillin in Chennai...

2005-08-28T21:13:00.000+05:30

Yet another term is over 'neath the Ahmedabad sun, within the red brick ancient walls, haunting the long hallowed portals and the awe-inspiring long corridors...
Its time to go home, re-energize myself with all the love and affection that folks at home shower upon me and get back for the next term, refreshed, enthusiastic and pampered :)

The term that was proved to be unworthy of being part of the second year - did not quite fulfill the dreamz and predictions of long nites of chillin out under the stars at LKP nor 4-day fun-filled weekends... But of course, it was a welcome change from the hectic first year, more so because of the attitudinal and mind-set shift :)
It was loads of fun, with the Fachhas pouring in and then the whole rigmarole of Welcome Nite and then T-Nite, contributing further to the apathy displayed at times towards academics.
Friends, fun, frolic did take a front seat, though acads was not always far behind - coz I was at times brought down violently to earth by the FORMiddable assignments and MACRoscopic nuances of IDF. But yes, twas yet another unforgettable term at IIMA...

Now chillin away at home, I feel glad, happy, at peace with myself, secure and loved, among ppl who care for me and want the best for me... And waiting to get back to the term that looms ahead - hopefully yet another memorable one that promises to bring me closer to and equip me better for the challenges ahead in life...

A Gift that has not been...

2005-07-31T23:06:00.000+05:30

It reverberated throughout campus the whole of last year - enthu tempo shouts of "Mug-o! Fachhon! Mug-o!" by Tuchhas that made poor Fachhas like us painfully aware of the chasm that stretched wide and deep between us... Great pains were taken to ensure that we knew, and dreamt longingly about, the much-spoken-about, much extolled, glorious period at WIMWI-Land called Tuchhadom - the golden age - that heavenly era at this Well-known-Institute-of-Management-in-Western-India when the students actually breathe, find time to look at themselves, at their friends, at the campus and beyond, and do some activity apart from mugging, which was accepted as the full-time profession during Fachhadom.

While we slogged, slogged and slogged in Fachhadom I mean)...
- Get up at 8.55 (though I, always an early riser, was slightly different in this regard)
- Hurriedly gobble some breakfast
- Run to class
- Attend lectures till 1.10
- Have lunch (if God does not rule that you should starve that day by sending a quiz your way)
- Mug for and then give a quiz (if it is one of those unlucky days)
- Slump back to your room, fully washed out, and crash right away
- Wake up for Chaai at the mess, with its 'appetizing aroma'
- Or better still, resign yourself to a bite of something at the heaven-sent CT (Cafe TANSTAFL, for the uneducated, cheerfully christened ‘There Ain’t No Such Thing As Free Lunch’ by one thoughtful Prof.)
- Chalk out and carefully schedule your group meetings for the day (err... night)
- Manage to skim through the readings for the next day between running for the group meetings one after the other (though me, fortunately being a resident of D1, almost never had to migrate to alternative dwellings for the meetings)
- Manage to crash atleast at 3/4 early next morning, of course, given that there are no major submissions or assignments the next day which might necessitate a night-out...

Our seniors seemed to enjoy, party and chill out...
- Get up whenever you want
- Attend classes whenever you want
- Go out of campus for movies and treats whenever you want
- Watch movies and play computer games whenever you want
- Haunt the tennis grounds and basketball courts whenever you want
- Well... basically have fun all round the clock... whenever you want

Or atleast, thats what we were made to feel...

Now, officially licensed by the PGP office to travel through that golden age, given that gift - the baton that was dutifully passed by our seniors to us, I feel personally let down... despite the fine-print-like subtle warnings by seniors that the fourth term might, in some ways, be a replica of the first year, I was expecting something like a paid holiday (of course, the only difference being that in this case, I would be paying for it...).
Apart from the so-called learnings from the electives we are supposed to have chosen because they really trigger some very profound chemical reaction called interest in us, I thought my days would be filled with fun, movies, friends, dinners and what-not...
Though I do admit that I've come a long long way from Fachhadom, I still envisage a long way (mebbe, another 3 months till my next term ?) to reach that stage...
To be fair to the fachhas, I must say that I've watched more movies and gone out more number of times in the past one month than I have, the whole of last year put together !
But still, sometimes, there is that little tug at my weak heart that echoes thoughts like "You are here to learn!", "What is your take-away from this place?" and "Are you doing justice to the well-earned money of your parents?" that makes me sit up guiltily, dust my books and try to digest the fundae about the Greeks and the Capital markets...
Well... to be fair again, I must say that I have been mugging a bit now and then, though I have been having my share of the fun in terms of going out with friends and watching movies...

I realise that the vision of second year that was painted to me was quite biased, in that it portrayed what some Tuchhas chose to do... Studying or not studying is one's personal choice in second year... Given that the system has been designed in such a way that the grades of second year may not have a hand in shaping one's career in any way, there are people who decide that the last year of student life (atleast, in most cases) should not be wasted in useless pursuits of the so-called learning, but should be utilised for other fruitful activities like enjoying one's freedom as a student (without the ties of a workplace and a salary and a boss to answer to). Of course, there are the other people who stick to ideals like learning and take-away and mug away, barricaded in their rooms...

If you ask me to which type I belong, frankly, I don’t know... I guess I am trying to be the bridge - a balance of both worlds - trying to "learn" as much as possible, while also valiantly attempting to make sure I don't lose out on my share of the fun...

Well... as I continue to maintain the balance (more details later, perhaps) I am alerted to the fact that fachha mid-terms start from tomorrow, by the haunted silence all around me and the aura that seems to emanate from behind every closed door that has a fachha behind it...
If I continue to dabble with my thoughts on my e-scribbling pad, I might be on the receiving end of many a curse from frustrated despo fachhas...
So I bid 'Goodbye' right here... accompanied by a heartfelt "Good Luck" wish to all fachhas at WIMWI... and any student in any part of the world who may have the blessing of an exam tomorrow (just to prove that I'm not partial in such matters pertaining to good luck charms)

Goodbye...till my next appearance :)

A Contemplation on Life...

2005-06-25T03:50:00.000+05:30

Just found this really amazing picture while browsing thru a photoblog www.catchycolors.blogspot.com... It sort of touched me in some strange way I can't put my finger upon... The rivulet of pure white streaking into the sky along the snaky path seemed to remind me of life - the life of any given soul which comes into existence from nowhere - from the depths of darkness - and journeys along its charted course, spreading its aura with the passage of time and finally evaporates into nothingness - back to where it came from...

A life materializes in the form of a teeny weeny baby - pure white innocence - like the little trickle of the cloud that seems to emerge from the black silhouette... Its perspective slowly widens as it gathers ideas, attitudes and impressions from its immediate surroundings - like the little trickle that gradually widens to become a thin stream... The rivulet further snakes its way upward, depicting the varying phases of life - the ups and downs that one faces - the choices people make and the paths they choose to travel on... Growing older and wiser, any soul reaches out, yearning to seek that truth which it had set out to realize... Building upon its experiences, it grows in strength and forms its own circle of influence, just as the once-thin-strand-of-cloud expands, dissipating its rich storehouse of wisdom, enriching its surroundings (or polluting it, depending on the nature and characteristics of the person in consideration)... Finally, the soul merges into nothingness, going back to where it came from, sometimes after having realized the truth it had set out to seek... This particular life form is remembered and lives through many more generations in the minds of people, depending upon the degree of its value-add to the society...

And somewhere, another little trickle of cloud emerges from nothingness to fill the void - to fulfill its own mission - to mark the birth of yet another person... and thus continues the circle of birth and death...

Fachha here, Fachha there, Fachha-Fachha Everywhere...

2005-06-25T03:21:00.000+05:30

The campus is now overflowing with the recent additions to the scenic brick-decorated campus - the Fachha-bachhas... Trailed about constantly by harried-looking parents with CONCERN written in bold all over their faces while their wards swagger around, confident and self-assured (atleast on the surface), chests puffed up with pride at the thought of having belled the CAT, trying to bravely act as if their parents didn't exist, desperately trying to find some group of fellow-fachhas they think they can identify themselves with... while (possibly) quaking inside with fear, scared by the stories they have heard about life on campus : the sleepless nights and hectic days !
The Tuchhas can be identified by their typical 'alag-sa' swagger - a statement by itself that sez - "Oh ye lowest forms on earth ! Look at us, who've risen in glory and are now the reigning spirits who haunt this campus, flaunting our free time and tuchha-specific-previleges !"

The latest happenings on campus and the sight of the fachhas scurrying about reminded me of similar days same time last year, when our batch stepped into the insti to form the next layer of MBAs to graduate from the much-talked about best B-School in Asia... The very thought of the journey of a fachha thru fachhadom evoked fond memories and set the philosophical machinery of my brain in motion, resulting in some random scribblings of mine which any interested reader can peruse at leisure on my other blog, Soul Speaketh...

Of course, I identify myself with the latter species, though I cant exactly say how much of a swagger I put on... An amused smile on my lips, I watch in silence as I hear fachhas talking among themselves about the gyan they have got from their seniors, in the dorm and without... comparing notes about life on campus and the various systems in place to facilitate their orientation to and induction into the system of PGP...
It seems as if it were just yesterday that I was in the same position myself, amazed at the campus, the facilitating systems, the kind of help and support the seniors seem ready to extend, and so on and so forth - the list is endless... One year has passed since, and I've learnt loads of stuff - academic and otherwise - have grown a lot more wiser; This place definitely has the capability to transform each one of us in some way or the other - it ensures, with its high-stress environment and other uniquely peculiar ways, that we emerge as competent individuals who can hold our own at any given point of time with a comfort and ease thats strangely re-assuring to oneself and gives a kind of confidence most of us have never felt before...

Sigh ! One year already gone by... Time does fly, doesn't it ? I just can't imagine that I will be out of this place in less than a year and that might probably even mark the end of my life as a student - but then - I guess such thoughts and further contemplation on them can be reserved for later, much nearer to the time in question...

Back to FORM... Live from Ahmedabad...

2005-06-22T22:49:00.001+05:30

I know precisely how an iron filing feels if it is tied tightly to a post and a magnet is kept just out of its reach - of course - if the poor iron filing has a heart...
After three days of Chennai and three days of Bangalore - and then being transported from the cool garden city to the blazing lands of Ahmedabad, my feelings have very closely resembled that of the afore-mentioned poor iron filing... The bright sun who unflinchingly stares down at us in all his 41 degrees of glory unfortunately cannot be glared back at and put in his rightful place - the hot rays he generously bestows upon us have to be accepted humbly... It is perhaps the heat, or perhaps the few days I had at home, chatting with my folks after such a long time, wandering about in and out of my home fondly looking at and feeling the familiar objects that kindle sweet memories, or perhaps, the sight of my room on campus, the familiar brick walls of IIMA and my favourite haunts, nooks and corners of this place thats gotten to me... whatever be the reason, I had been feeling, for the past few days, pangs of some sort of feeling I cannot exactly put my finger on - something that seems to ask me - What are you doing here ? Is this what you exist for ? What exactly are you going to do in life ?... and so on...

I know these are zillion-dollar questions that take ages to answer - but at the root of these unsolved mysteries lies a very simple fact - I was homesick ! (atleast, thats my diagnosis...)
I felt homesick for almost the first time ever since I came to this city on June 23rd last year... When realization dawned upon me, I was taken aback by surprise coz I never thought that I would be the kind of person who would feel homesick, though I do love my folks and long to be with them etc. etc... I always prided on the thought that I was blessed with the ability to get easily adjusted to any place - as a person who loves travelling, I always was of the opinion that I am not the type who feels the need to hang on to one single place every second of my life... Probably the heat, or the thought that this would probably be the last year of my 'student life', or the taste of the nectar called home that I'd got when I went back for those 6 days made me feel this way...
Guess it will get alright once I settle down back into my usual routine here and start spending more time with my friends - once I start actively engaging myself in the wide array of activities I'm generally used to, the idle mind will turn from the devil's workshop that was spewing out the fire called homesickness into a heavenly garden filled with the strong invigorating scent of exotic flowers, nurtured by the energy dissipated by the machinery thats my brain...

Waiting eagerly for my spirits to rise...
Looking forward to the year ahead...

Logging in from Bangalore - 'chilling' away to glory !

2005-06-10T09:04:00.000+05:30

Three days of incessant subjection to remarks like "Its been so long since I last saw you" and "Karuthu elachhi poitte" (for the benefit of non-tams, it translates into "You've grown darker and thinner since I saw you last") did not help my ego too much... I felt exactly the way a particularly weak drumstick would feel after being burnt fully black !
3 days of that in Chennai coupled with staying up until the wee hours of morning participating in the 3-day long 'Utsavam' left me so drained and weary that my eyes shut automatically the moment my head touched the hard berth in the train that was scheduled to bear me full speed to Banglore. My brain usurped power from me and took over, giving my body the much-needed sleep it had been demanding - I was so tired that even the regular rhythmic motions of the train which, under normal circumstances, would have resulted in a sleepless night with me twisting this way and that, morphed into a kind of hypnotising lullaby ! That, combined with the God-sent torrential downpour that came crashing on our heads in dry hot thirsty Chennai just before we left, managed to soothe me and lull me into a dreamless blissful sleep.

Waking up in Bangalore proved to be an amazing experience - the early morning reddish hue of the sky with the black sillhouette of the skyline and the cool breeze that gently caressed my cheeks - all that worked in unison to revive me and had me glued like a magnet to the window at 5.15 in the morning, which is remarkable, considering the state I was in the night before (nothing but the fact that the train was scheduled to halt at Cantt at 5.30 would have helped achieve this feat)
Once home in Banglaore, with a mock ritual, I sacrificed the day very generously (it did not need much goading) to a state of complete rest, curling up with a novel in a deep chair in the balcony overlooking the green Cubbon Park, getting frequent whiffs of fresh air from the swaying eucalyptus trees; a complete contrast to the hectic 3 days of 'holidays' at home in Chennai... Nevertheless, home is always home - whichever way you spend the time there...

So I humbly request you to leave me in that same state of peace relaxing blissfully at home in Bangalore... until I pick up my lethargic self and pen my next blog...

Back in Business... Straight from the oven called Chennai !

2005-06-08T00:33:00.000+05:30

Phew !!! I feel as if i'm under a barrage of reproachful doleful looks from my poor un-updated blog - chastising me for the long duration of disinterest I've seemingly displayed...
Of course - little does my poor blog know about the kinds of pressures I've been subjected to from so many other directions... With the end-of-internship presentation and report submission hanging over my head menacingly like a guillotine's horror combined with the peaceful complacency-inducing dreams of home-sweet-home, I was trying to jiggle around all the last minute visits and courtesy calls, and running a highly complex system of dynamic scheduling every second, with the starting point being my guide's schedule and his free time which proved to be quite a scant resource indeed !
However, nothing takes forever, u know... So finally that day dawned when I was done with the presentation, had had a nice little chat with the BU head, my guide and other people-who-matter in office... raised myself a few notches higher in terms of the respect, appreciation and good words people had for me... and was ready to leave bustling Bombay with its breezy 'watery' Drive, the famous vada-pavs, tall towers and multiplexes... the financial capital of India...
I took one deep breath of the Mumbai air and one last lingering look at the tiny toy-like city spread out below me as I zoomed away, gaining altitude - destination : Chennai !

As I flew into the loving arms of my eagerly waiting parents, I heard the familiar whirr of the water lorry, smelled the yummy coffee my grandmom was making for me, felt the soft fur of my cute bubbly kittens and heard the smile in my aunt's voice as she called out my name from inside the house. The familiar sight and smell of dear ole' home hit me hard and strong - my heart throbbed with a dull ache as I counted 5 months since I had last set foot here... I felt guilty looking at my grandmom ever so frail and weak, gazing lovingly at me, successfully masking the taunting voices that shouted in her head - "She's going to run away back again in 3 days !"
With a big sigh I stepped into my room - the one with a special view of the front gate - it was just as I had left it, with one of our kittens being the sole claimant to the seat of honour - my study desk and chair ! She lazily looked at me when I entered and climbed down slowly after a leisurely stretch, sacrificing what she thought was rightfully hers in a bout of generosity, with a look that said "Oh - U are back... What an inconvenience ! Hmmm... U can have my seat for a coupla days - I won't mind!"
The familiar surroundings, the welcoming grin of my dad coupled with one of his humorous one-liners, the touching concern of my mom, the challenge-for-friendly-duel looks of my aunt who I forever mistake for and think of as my playmate, friend and guide (which she is) and the caring royal treatment I recieve at the hands of my grandmom armed with delicacies which I truly relish... the combined force of the attack of all this leaves me aching for more - for a life of leisure and plenty - lying lazily around the house, treated like a princess !
And then some quality time spent at my dance and music classes chatting with my teachers and friends, dancing and singing away blissfully, glad to be back once again amidst all I truly love... and who reciprocate the love unconditionally...
Theres a three day function going on at my house which leaves zilch time for looking up old contacts and chatting with 'long-lost' friends... Nevertheless, I plan to definitely make time before I leave to revive old contacts and chat with old friends like the olden golden days of my childhood !

Oops ! Now I can hear the voice of my mom summoning me to my duties as a hostess, to welcome guests, to enquire after the 30-odd people who've gathered under our roof, to play the omnipresent helpful hostess (pretending to be useful, with my real utility being limited to asking my family members if I can be of any help), and to participate in the function as I should be doing, instead of being couped up in my room typing away to glory in order to pacify my poor neglected blog...

So am now bidding goodbye, until later...

Chug Chug Chug... My Experience on the Mumbai Locals

2005-05-09T12:06:00.001+05:30

Hmmm... actually it was a zoom and not a chug with which the train embarked on its journey - my first one on the Mumbai Locals...
Lemme start at the beginning...

I threw myself mercilessly into the throng of human bodies marching its way towards the station while I was still a few metres away (only then could I hope to enter the station, you see...). As I was automatically carried along by the human conveyor belt, I managed to spy the ticket counter out of the corner of my eye and detached myself from the crowd just in time and joined the line. A regular traveller behind me in the queue rightly guessed that it was my first time on the locals and patiently explained the fundae of train schedules and signs, while I listened with rapt attention. After a wait of 15 minutes at the seemingly never-moving queue, I suddenly found myself at the front of it, wondering what I was doing there, in a bit of a daze due to the pollution, the crowds and the pleading faces of 'money-requestors' a.k.a beggars who seem to close in on me from every side leaving me no space to breathe. The kindly counter-guy asked politely for my destination, sensing that I was a newbie who could do with some kindness and sympathy! I blurted out a name, got my ticket and exited in a FIFO manner, to join the mass moving towards the platforms like a zombie, amazed at the capability of human beings to get packed so densely in the barest minimum square inch of space and still managing to look the least bit worried or hassled.
The state of the station, the overbridges and the platforms left a lot to be desired, though I must say that considering the countless breeds and numbers of living things that lived on them and/or used them regularly, the place was maintained decently well...

To continue my story, I glanced above at the heavenly guiding star that was the neon display showing the train schedules near each platform (thank god for small mercies and the kind-hearted guy at the ticket queue) and managed to decipher that a train was about to leave from Platform 4 that would take me to my destination quickly (there was this funda of fast and slow trains too, you see).
With a 90-degree change in my direction, I was able to effect a turn and proceed down the stairs despite the crowd hurrying on ahead as one mass, trying to bear me away along with the current.

Standing majestically on the platform was the many-carriaged snake-like vehicle ready to zoom out of the station, with people hanging out precariously from all the compartments... It dawned on me that the train was almost leaving - and I managed to propel myself into the nearest compartment through a small gap a kindly guy was good enough to leave, sensing my despair.
As the train sped out toward its destination, stopping at few more stations along the way, it never ceased to amaze me how more people could somehow fit in a train that seemed too full even when it started. Ya - you guessed right - I failed to see any kind of outflow of people - only more and more people embarking at every station...
My amazement reached its zennith when, at one station, almost everyone on the train began to disembark; People spilled out of the train in a seemingly never-ending flow - scattering out in all directions from the narrow confines of the train and going their own way, unaffected, as I stared, incredulously gaping at the number of people who had been packed like matchsticks in that matchbox of a compartment.

The train, devoid of most of its occupants, seemed like a lifeless empty monster, making me a bit apprehensive, while countless dark stories flashed past my mind-eyes and my mind started analysing the n number of things that could happen. I firmly stopped the processing that was going on and, glad to finally get a seat, sat down and started examining the 3 co-occupants of the compartment, cursing the circumstances that forced me into this compartment instead of a ladies compartment in accordance with the thousands of pieces of advice that had been hurled at me. Thankfully, the last leg of the journey proved to be quite uneventful.

However, things suddenly took a turn for the worse when there was an unimaginable influx of passengers as soon as the train screeched to a halt at one particular station. A hefty guy plomped down beside me and mumbled sumthing that sounded like 'Get Up'! Scandalized at his impoliteness, I spontaneously got up and sat two seats away, only to find him staring at me peculiarly. Thats when the truth dawned on me - the train had pulled to a halt at the very last stop - my destination - and these were passengers who were going back on the return journey ! I hastened to clamber off the train, pushing my way through the throng of people trying to get in. I managed to somehow emerge unscathed and victorious out of the station, despite the throng of people trying to elbow their way in, slowing down my exit. The sun shining kindly down on me proved to be the sweetest thing on earth, despite my hatred for the 47-degree heat.

I triumphantly made my way home, proud of myself and my achievement - my first trip on the infamous Mumbai locals...

Why not "Love Thy Neighbour as Thyself" ?

2005-05-03T10:04:00.000+05:30

Walking down the street yesterday night, I came across an inter-family brawl staged right on the street - it involved two families who lived at 'Care of Street, Opposite Petrol Bunk'... It affected me deeply to see such poor families, living right there on the street, and, in the midst of it all, fighting wildly, mouthing foul words and heaping curses upon one another, darkening the atmosphere with so much ill-will. It was unbelievable and highly disturbing to see such uncontrollable rage and undisguised hatred emanating from a single person... It was very hard for me to digest the sight in front of me and come to terms with reality, as I lowered my head a bit and walked on, quickening my pace.
Why dont people see the fact that life is immensely simple if you let it be ? If people were affable towards everyone and doled out the same treatment to the passer-by on the road and the sister at home, the world will be lots better... If people treated one another with affection born out of humaneness and brotherliness, why would there be family quarrels ? Why would neighbours fight over silly things like whose garbage goes where ? Why would friends disagree over trifles and alientate themselves from each other ? Why would states squabble over the 100th ounce of water that flowed over and quenched one poor man's thirst ? Why would nations wage expensive bloody wars over issues of power ?
Why do humans have to make life complex when, by living it the simple way, life could have been made so much more productive and the world - a much better place to live in... Why ?

The story so far...

2005-05-02T17:15:00.000+05:30

I promised to tell my story and here it is...

It was a glorious morning - the dawn of a new day - one that promised to significantly, in some mysterious, yet-unknown way, to impact the lives of billions of people all over the world... no - I am not talking of September 11, 2001, but of another day, roughly 18 years and 331 days further into the past... that memorable day when there plopped into the world and looked askance at the chaos that was the world around her, a teeny weeny baby who was later christened Anupama. Her joyous parents could, perhaps, get a waft of the significance of this baby, for they, after much thought, bestowed on her the aforementioned name - 'The Unique or Incomparable One' (though its another story how the kid kept pestering her dad for a period of roughly two long troublesome years to change her name coz she dint like it, according to reports from credible sources).

Like most children do, she also grew up, much petted and oohed-and-aahed at, as kids usually are, in the warm confines of her home and a 5-km radius, which happened to, partly by accident, and partly by design, encompass her small world of kindergarten, primary school, high school, friends' homes, dance and music classes and even college ! (though I must admit that a few of those places fell out of the strict 5-km boundary though they did not, for certain, cross the 20-km limits).

Thus grew the child happily (you must have guessed who I am talking about, by now atleast...) in the heart of the city of Chennai, one of the few places in India gifted with a multitude of things that includes vast stretches of decently good beaches (one cant expect something as exotic as Goa right outside their doorstep, u see...), good restaurants, the usual array of fast food joints that are ideal for young vibrant teenagers to haunt, as well as a host of theatres and auditoriums that play host to great Indian cultural shows - in fact - in my humble opinion, it is a city that perfectly blends the fast-paced metro-atmosphere and the quaint refreshing essence of Indian culture, with its classical cultural tinge...

I then grew a bit more - for thats who the child was, in case it had not, by some unfortunate twist in the tale, still dawned on you - and went on through the drab routine that has become the most widely socially accepted chain of events that any kid goes through... school and then college (under-grad). A wonderful school - well-known for the relaxed curriculum for the younger kids, the excellent quality of faculty, and the freedom and encouragement for extra-currics they generously bestowed upon their wards - Vidya Mandir, which of course fell within the radius I had mentioned quite briefly, in passing, earlier. Undergrad was again smooth sailing for me - Computer Science and Engineering in SRM Easwari Engineering College - a great college and an overall satisfying experience, studying the subject that I truly loved and adored, which I had taken despite frantic calls and advice from well-wishers to take ECE which had the capability of giving me a wider focus. Along with my ample share of fun and enjoyment all through school and college, I managed to continue and keep up my enthusiasm for a wide array of extracurricular activities while simultaneously putting up a good front in academics...

I find it very funny when I take a walk down memory lane : I glance at myself in the mirror and marvel at my thoughts each stage of my life - my mind was always highly volatile (though I must mention that the necessary stuff related to education and other important data were safely engraved in the ROM part of my brain) - the range of my interests were really extraordinary and my mind resembled a pit of quicksand which eagerly absorbed everything that was put it but was constantly shifting and churning around - I used to want to become a librarian one day, a doctor the next hour and an astronomer the very next second! Some of these may appear to the normal reader as childish fancies that are common in every energetic kid, but no - many of these so-called fancies were, and are still, taken quite seriously by me. My parents and my immediate family, namely, my aunt and grandmom (who lived with us) were extremely supportive of whatever I wanted to do and encouraged any genuine practical interests I had (read - they ignored my whims when I insisted I wanted to become a vegetable seller for our street, but took me seriously when I said I wanted to learn dance). Thats how I ended up being a good dancer and singer who could also draw and paint well, play the veena and violin a little, play the synth/harmonium, knew verses in sanskrit from scriptures and had won prizes in loads of competitions and given many classical dance and music performances.

Then came my next jump, after graduation, when I was faced with 'app-ing' for MS, heading for an MBA or taking up the software job offer in Inautix I had got through college placements. Postponing the first option for the present, I decided to sit for the MBA entrance exams but was all set to take up the job offer. Though I went through a correspondence course of IMS half-heartedly, I decided to give my best for CAT just as the date for the exam neared and also went through all the hullaballoo that was caused by the leaking of our paper and the re-test in Feb 2004. Just before joining Inautix, I got the final acceptance call from IIMA - Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad - the Mecca of Management - the very best in Asia. That evening when I saw the result online will, forever, remain imprinted in my memory...

Then started the roller-coaster ride for me, with all the fachha parties and informal meets and the flooding of my inbox with all the queries of eager brilliant minds ready to take up IIMA head-on, ready to start flying towards great achievements in life and the patient amused know-it-all replies by helpful patient tuchhas at the insti. My first contact with the insti was one of my tuchhas who had touched base with me within two days of my acceptance at IIMA, offered to help me and answered all my queries. Awed by the level of networking among the alumni and the power of its name, I entered IIMA's grand hallowed portals as if in a dream, leaving behind Chennai, my parents, my immediate family and friends and my pet cats - all things that were familiar and near-and-dear to me.

The first year of PGP1 taught me many lessons in life, earned me loads and loads of good friends, taught me what life and management is all about (over and above the theories of Kotler, Black-Scholles and Henry Fayol). The hectic schedule, system of education and life at IIMA was a novelty - very different from anything I had ever experienced before. I soon became an "IIMA-ite" in blood :-) - the dear ole' brick walls grew on me and so did the IIMA brand which was emblazoned upon me forever.
Life went on and our tuchhas graduated - the wheels turned and now we are soon-to-be-seniors welcoming the new batch and already giving the know-it-all gyan on the yahoo group for our juniors - I just cannot digest how fast time has passed - the sands of time have shifted, leaving me standing bewildered and amazed at how I could grow so much older in such a short time !

Now trying out my stint at working in an organization as part of my summer internship (which, it so happens, gobbles up our entire 2 month "holiday" - the only respite we get from studies and the hectic life at IIMA) I am waiting eagerly for 5th June when I get a chance to be reunited with family and friends and spend lazy evenings with my folks at the stately populous capitals of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka for a meagre total of 6 days before I am packed off back to the outstretched welcoming arms of IIMA for the supposedly easy-going relaxed life as a tuchhi.

Hmm... gud luck to myself as I enter tuchhadom triumphantly - it gnaws on me in a very odd way that half my time here is already up and in less than one year down the line, I'll be spewing out messages on the senti-NB on Dbabble and saying 'Sayonara' to all my gud friends here, the faculty and profs, my dorm, my classrooms (the well-designed amphitheatre models with astounding accoustics that strive to disclose the sleeping antics of every unsuspecting student to the prof), the new campus with its very own ossum underpass - and every small nook and cranny and every bit of earth that is enclosed within the famous much-televised brick walls of our dear ole campus.

But, as they say - time and tide wait for none...
Change is the only unchanging law of nature...
The wheels of time keep turning and we have to compulsarily pass onto the next act in the drama of life and enact our pre-scripted parts with precision.

Well then... Thats it for now... Pens down !
Do please take some time to digest the brief sketch of my life so far...
Adieu for now...

Freshly baked : hot from the oven of summer internship... Monday Morning Blues...

2005-05-02T11:45:00.000+05:30

One of the few things in the world that have really managed in succeeding to be the focus of my concentrated undisguised hatred - and, I assure you, I am usually a very genial soul who normally never bears any kind of ill-will toward any other aggregation of atoms - living or non-living - is the sight of my office on a monday morning ! (to be specific, this monday morning - coz I have no clue how the next one will be - might be really great for all you know...). The thing I hate most of all (with appropriate might-change-my-mind-later-dont-hold-me-responsible-disclaimer and delegating full resposibility to my current frame of mind) is the slow dragging of my two unwilling feet to office and the subsequent time spent in those very comfortable-now-an-eye-sore chairs and the starting-to-work sequence on a glorious monday morning, when the only thing one feels like doing is to continue the heavenly state of slumber with its much-awaited out-of-the-world dreamy dreams followed by a sumptuous breakfast and lunch (later, of course) in bed - spoon in one hand and a good novel in the other !

To understand this hatred which has suddenly sprung up from nowhere 540 seconds ago (in the mind of one who was genuinely in love with work and office until 540 seconds back and who is highly likely to fall in love with it again well before lunch today) one needs to first understand my frame of mind and the sequence of events that occured in my very recent past - to be more specific, yesterday and this morning.

Yesterday was the laziest day in my life as far as my digging-into-my-memory-dump results go. Got up late, had breakfast, read some work-related stuff till lunch time, had lunch, relaxed in bed comfortably with a novel, spent the whole afternoon and evening lying in bed reading the novel and the aforementioned work-related stuff in alternation (just to prove to myself that I am not the kind of waste-a-holiday-when-u-have-work lazy sluggish girl), had dinner, put together a small bit of a 2000-piece puzzle and then went to bed. All of this was, of course, interspersed with some calls from different people enquiring about the status of my health, my week at office and my day in general - genuine kith and kin (not those shady 'Hello Darling ! I was really concerned about you - by the way - would you mind if I borrowed your pink pearl set for the party tomorrow ?' types) who were concerned about me and wanted to be a part of my everyday life. In short, it was the perfect day one could ever have, if you did not mind not stirring out of the house all day... Of course, though I am not exactly of that breed, I still enjoyed my perfect day yesterday in the spacious 5th floor flat overlooking huge structures of cement that seem to crawl out of the earth and continue their steep ascent in a vain effort to try and reach the sky, with a view from another balcony of the refreshingly fresh sea which seem to emanate the very essense of life and generously spray it into the cool breeze it sent my way.

By now, I think you will be ready to sympathize with my feelings of desolation when the sun peeped up this morning and forced me to get out of bed with its long tentacles reaching out and exploring every nook and cranny of the room, reminding me of the long week ahead waiting for me with outstreched open arms. And you can also imagine my feelings as I had a little game of table tennis by myself gently teasing my breakfast from one side of my plate to the other and back again. I was thoroughly pampered and spoilt by yesterdays' events (or rather, non-events) and looked longingly at the bed and various other parts of the house, that beckoned, enticing me to spend one more lazy day in its confines, when the time came for me to rush to office. As a natural consequence, I ended up postponing my departure which resulted in the obvious chain of events that culminated in a 5 minute-late entry at office, not helped a bit by my lazy legs which, with a will of their own, seemed the least bit interested in reducing the displacement between the cluster of atoms that was me and the cluster of atoms that was my office.

Thus started my 'wonderful' monday morning at office - the 29th day of my summer internship.

However, thankfully, I was not the focus of what-the-hell-is-she-a-goddess-that-she-can-be-late-to-office looks from coworkers. I am forever indebted to the unseen supreme power up above for the gift of a good, informal, helpful, friendly work atmosphere, which earned me cheery "Hi"s and "G'Morning"s as I trudged wearily along, parrying with similar courtesy greetings and made a beeline for my desk, to the spate of mails that popped out of my inbox, which I refused to acknowledge, promising myself that it could wait for atleast 15 minutes, giving me time to settle down and bring my thoughts into some semblence of an order to facilitate efficient brain functioning for office work.

Having offloaded my thoughts and monday morning blues onto another medium (meaning my very own scratchpad online) which, unfortunately, is dumb and cant offer me words of encouragement, I look up in time to hear my guide rapidly typing away in his cubicle right next door, while, on a spree of multitasking, seals a deal over the phone,while simultaneously signalling in un-decipherable sign language that he will be joining the other VP for a meeting in 5 seconds ! I thank my stars for the unbelievably good easy time I have had in life till now (compared to the multitasking-on-a-monday-morning poor office-goer) while my thoughts race into the future with chilling forboding, imagining the time when I'd be in his shoes or maybe performing an even more vigorous form of multitasking that happens to involve the other unused parts of my body like my other hand and my two feet). I call out in haste to my guide - "Hey - tell me whenever you can spare time for a half hour session regarding my project" and receive an encouraging nod and a "Yep -sure - we'll sit together after lunch" while his eyes beseech me, giving me pitiable looks that say "Cant you see I am extremely busy today ? Please have some mercy on this poor body of mine which is trying to do its monday-morning-best..."

With a small smile, I return to my desk and open the huge folder that contains all project-related stuff, knowing fully well that someday, sometime, my guide will definitely find some time for me and my project - just that I fervently hope that the great moment falls sometime within the period of my summer internship !

A 'bachhi' no more... @ blogspot.com !

2005-04-29T14:19:00.000+05:30

Hello World !!!
This is my first blog and I cant help getting excited about it !!!!
Though innumerable items have fallen hapless victims to my spree (at various unpredictable moments in my short life of 22 years) of scribbling, starting from my dog-eared, much-thumbed, poor old diary to word and notepad documents on my computer to various scraps of papers that, after few weeks of unceremonious existence on various parts of my desk and shelves, resignedly dedicated their lives for the betterment and growth of the garbage dump at the corner of my street, this is the first time the internet has fallen victim to it !!!
So I guess all you sympathetic souls out there can understand my childish excitement and enthusiasm... and so I take it for granted that you will forgive me for my sin of being passionately partial toward sentences that are 'a bit' (ahem... pls excuse me if you dont entirely agree...) on the longer side...

hmmm... now that I've overcome the starting problem (I'd hate to think of that picture that must be forming in your minds vaguely beginning to associate my form to that of an old sputtering bajaj scooter with its seats frayed and discoloured... but it can't be helped for want of a better phrase) let me get down to the matter at hand...

For a brief peep into my life so far... well... I'll save the details for later (for the near future)... but a brief introduction is very much in place : Anupama.M (always insisted about the ".M" at the end of my name... made a pact with my dad about it some long time back amidst clutters of half-filled forms that asked me for my full-name, sur-name, middle-name, first-name... prefix anything you want... you get the idea right?) currently doing my PGP at IIM, Ahmedabad, India. (I dont think I will say anything more about my education... will save that for yet another post !) (FYI : bold words above are to facilitate the tired reader whoz wading through his nth blog)

Right now, this very microsecond of this minute of this hour of this day of this week of this month of this year of this decade in my humble life, I am typing away to glory, plop in the middle of my summer internship - my stint at trying to work for a period of 2 months (a requirement for my PGP) - under the sweltering harsh heat of Mumbai, thankfully shielded from it by the 8 floors and roof above me, comfortably snuggling deeper into my well-cushioned huge chair in the 12-storied building near Marine Drive, which houses the intimidating posh offices of ABN AMRO Bank.

Now that I have honoured you with a peep into my current life, I'll officially start off this blogging spree of mine with a poem I wrote which mirrors some parts of my soul - with, of course - a timestamp dating roughly one-and-a-half weeks back...

As I enter a new world...

I stepped into the foyer
Looming large and wide
College to corporate life
Across the great divide
Frightening for sure
The great dark unknown
With me - the sacrificial goat
Venturing out on my own
The first time in life
With nobody for backup
To watch out and help me
If I cause any goof-up
Of course I am prepared
With my confidence booster-pack
But I'd have been happier
Had I an option to backtrack
No comforting words
No solace from my family
No familiar faces
No friends to offer sympathy
I realized for sure
I was in for a long day
I'd have to carve my own path
For me to make headway
Wondered as I walked in
What was I doing ?
What was I getting into
Was it my sort of thing ?
So many doors open
So many options to consider
Would I by entering this,
Close the others forever ?
Not a leap for mankind
But for sure, a great step for me
Its scary enough deciding
What my future's gonna be !
Finance versus Marketing
Systems versus Strategy
What an array of fields
Choosing one is an agony
Confused that I am
At this stage in my career
The range of choices
Is a tough-to-cross barrier.

I wonder to myself...
Is my choice right ?
Will I fit in well
And soon see the light ?
Will I succeed in life ?
In my chosen field ?
Have I chosen right at the crossroads
When I, the other doors, sealed ?

Hmmm... That was that !
And now that you must have got to know a bit more of me, I think thats enough dose for one day !
Btw - that "bachhi" in the title has more that one implication... it can be thought of in a multitude of ways as follows :
A. The bachhi that I was to blogspot, who has died a natural death once and for all... (though I myself cant see the logic of how a death cannot be for once-and-for-all)
B. A no-more-fachhi-bachhi @ IIMA - proudly presenting to you... the tuchhi from D1 - the most-enviable and the foremost dorm in Asia - the official 'Den of the OneDerGals' !
C. The bachhi who has now been officially launched into the "corporate world"and should hence not remain a bachhi anymore !

Well... Thats it for now...
Signing off... and hoping to get back soon...
Anu.