Its Graduation Time: Goodbye, Bricks...

I owe an apology to my poor neglected blog...
After braving severe tsunamis of hectic days of exams and placements, with my course skidding to a seemingly sudden stop, I must admit that it has taken me some time to bring my mind back from the chaotic sprinkling of thoughts and set things in order.
The thought of my graduation in April, as always, manages to fill my heart with a deep vacuum that looks dark and sinister : the end of student life ? Where am I headed ? Whats in store for me in the future ?
One part of my mind battles with these questions, while the other pauses and ponders over the recent past and the wonderful two years I spent on campus at IIMA...

One sunny day I stepped over the threshold
Into a world filled with fortunes untold
Into a womb, brick-walled and red
Where only the fortunate and gifted, tread.

The campus was home for two long years
Where I overcame many of my fears.
The girl who went in, a child at heart
Emerged a professional, raring to start.

I may have grown from sapling to tree
But this will forever be a part of me...
Each square inch of the campus here
Is a part of my memories I'll ever hold dear.

My memories start with the famous ramp,
The evenings at LKP, a student's dream camp,
Of course, there's VSL for the sincere scholar,
And then the CT for the food connosieur.

First year saw me drowning in books...
Classrooms I knew, and the library's nooks.
Dreams of casemats were common then
Night-outs and exams that shook mightiest of men.

Along with WAC came the cultural shows
T-Nite and Music that enlivened the lows
Parties and practices that energised me
And strengthened me to face the examination sea.

Came second year with loads of leisure
B-plans, Conflu, work plus pleasure...
Chaos, Uno and the LAN's movie sea
And watching fachhas on a mugging spree!

Then came my turn to mug away-
Placements n prep ruled the day
A test of sorts, for the butterfly in me:
Fresh out of her cocoon - bold, was she...

The brick-walled fortress despite its flaws
Protected and nurtured the girl that I was;
Made me a woman, bold and strong
To face the world and right the wrong.

So many faces year after year
Pass 'neath these arches, that I hold dear
Achievers may come, achievers may go,
But the soul of the campus will forever glow.

As I bid a fond farewell to the familiar brick-walled buildings, I know that this sense of bonding I feel with the red bricks is a legacy passed through generations of WIMWI-ans and will forever bind us all together in some form or the other...

Curtains Down on 4th Term - Now Chillin in Chennai...

Yet another term is over 'neath the Ahmedabad sun, within the red brick ancient walls, haunting the long hallowed portals and the awe-inspiring long corridors...
Its time to go home, re-energize myself with all the love and affection that folks at home shower upon me and get back for the next term, refreshed, enthusiastic and pampered :)

The term that was proved to be unworthy of being part of the second year - did not quite fulfill the dreamz and predictions of long nites of chillin out under the stars at LKP nor 4-day fun-filled weekends... But of course, it was a welcome change from the hectic first year, more so because of the attitudinal and mind-set shift :)
It was loads of fun, with the Fachhas pouring in and then the whole rigmarole of Welcome Nite and then T-Nite, contributing further to the apathy displayed at times towards academics.
Friends, fun, frolic did take a front seat, though acads was not always far behind - coz I was at times brought down violently to earth by the FORMiddable assignments and MACRoscopic nuances of IDF. But yes, twas yet another unforgettable term at IIMA...

Now chillin away at home, I feel glad, happy, at peace with myself, secure and loved, among ppl who care for me and want the best for me... And waiting to get back to the term that looms ahead - hopefully yet another memorable one that promises to bring me closer to and equip me better for the challenges ahead in life...

A Gift that has not been...

It reverberated throughout campus the whole of last year - enthu tempo shouts of "Mug-o! Fachhon! Mug-o!" by Tuchhas that made poor Fachhas like us painfully aware of the chasm that stretched wide and deep between us... Great pains were taken to ensure that we knew, and dreamt longingly about, the much-spoken-about, much extolled, glorious period at WIMWI-Land called Tuchhadom - the golden age - that heavenly era at this Well-known-Institute-of-Management-in-Western-India when the students actually breathe, find time to look at themselves, at their friends, at the campus and beyond, and do some activity apart from mugging, which was accepted as the full-time profession during Fachhadom.

While we slogged, slogged and slogged in Fachhadom I mean)...
- Get up at 8.55 (though I, always an early riser, was slightly different in this regard)
- Hurriedly gobble some breakfast
- Run to class
- Attend lectures till 1.10
- Have lunch (if God does not rule that you should starve that day by sending a quiz your way)
- Mug for and then give a quiz (if it is one of those unlucky days)
- Slump back to your room, fully washed out, and crash right away
- Wake up for Chaai at the mess, with its 'appetizing aroma'
- Or better still, resign yourself to a bite of something at the heaven-sent CT (Cafe TANSTAFL, for the uneducated, cheerfully christened ‘There Ain’t No Such Thing As Free Lunch’ by one thoughtful Prof.)
- Chalk out and carefully schedule your group meetings for the day (err... night)
- Manage to skim through the readings for the next day between running for the group meetings one after the other (though me, fortunately being a resident of D1, almost never had to migrate to alternative dwellings for the meetings)
- Manage to crash atleast at 3/4 early next morning, of course, given that there are no major submissions or assignments the next day which might necessitate a night-out...

Our seniors seemed to enjoy, party and chill out...
- Get up whenever you want
- Attend classes whenever you want
- Go out of campus for movies and treats whenever you want
- Watch movies and play computer games whenever you want
- Haunt the tennis grounds and basketball courts whenever you want
- Well... basically have fun all round the clock... whenever you want

Or atleast, thats what we were made to feel...

Now, officially licensed by the PGP office to travel through that golden age, given that gift - the baton that was dutifully passed by our seniors to us, I feel personally let down... despite the fine-print-like subtle warnings by seniors that the fourth term might, in some ways, be a replica of the first year, I was expecting something like a paid holiday (of course, the only difference being that in this case, I would be paying for it...).
Apart from the so-called learnings from the electives we are supposed to have chosen because they really trigger some very profound chemical reaction called interest in us, I thought my days would be filled with fun, movies, friends, dinners and what-not...
Though I do admit that I've come a long long way from Fachhadom, I still envisage a long way (mebbe, another 3 months till my next term ?) to reach that stage...
To be fair to the fachhas, I must say that I've watched more movies and gone out more number of times in the past one month than I have, the whole of last year put together !
But still, sometimes, there is that little tug at my weak heart that echoes thoughts like "You are here to learn!", "What is your take-away from this place?" and "Are you doing justice to the well-earned money of your parents?" that makes me sit up guiltily, dust my books and try to digest the fundae about the Greeks and the Capital markets...
Well... to be fair again, I must say that I have been mugging a bit now and then, though I have been having my share of the fun in terms of going out with friends and watching movies...

I realise that the vision of second year that was painted to me was quite biased, in that it portrayed what some Tuchhas chose to do... Studying or not studying is one's personal choice in second year... Given that the system has been designed in such a way that the grades of second year may not have a hand in shaping one's career in any way, there are people who decide that the last year of student life (atleast, in most cases) should not be wasted in useless pursuits of the so-called learning, but should be utilised for other fruitful activities like enjoying one's freedom as a student (without the ties of a workplace and a salary and a boss to answer to). Of course, there are the other people who stick to ideals like learning and take-away and mug away, barricaded in their rooms...

If you ask me to which type I belong, frankly, I don’t know... I guess I am trying to be the bridge - a balance of both worlds - trying to "learn" as much as possible, while also valiantly attempting to make sure I don't lose out on my share of the fun...

Well... as I continue to maintain the balance (more details later, perhaps) I am alerted to the fact that fachha mid-terms start from tomorrow, by the haunted silence all around me and the aura that seems to emanate from behind every closed door that has a fachha behind it...
If I continue to dabble with my thoughts on my e-scribbling pad, I might be on the receiving end of many a curse from frustrated despo fachhas...
So I bid 'Goodbye' right here... accompanied by a heartfelt "Good Luck" wish to all fachhas at WIMWI... and any student in any part of the world who may have the blessing of an exam tomorrow (just to prove that I'm not partial in such matters pertaining to good luck charms)

Goodbye...till my next appearance :)

A Contemplation on Life...

Just found this really amazing picture while browsing thru a photoblog www.catchycolors.blogspot.com... It sort of touched me in some strange way I can't put my finger upon... The rivulet of pure white streaking into the sky along the snaky path seemed to remind me of life - the life of any given soul which comes into existence from nowhere - from the depths of darkness - and journeys along its charted course, spreading its aura with the passage of time and finally evaporates into nothingness - back to where it came from...

A life materializes in the form of a teeny weeny baby - pure white innocence - like the little trickle of the cloud that seems to emerge from the black silhouette... Its perspective slowly widens as it gathers ideas, attitudes and impressions from its immediate surroundings - like the little trickle that gradually widens to become a thin stream... The rivulet further snakes its way upward, depicting the varying phases of life - the ups and downs that one faces - the choices people make and the paths they choose to travel on... Growing older and wiser, any soul reaches out, yearning to seek that truth which it had set out to realize... Building upon its experiences, it grows in strength and forms its own circle of influence, just as the once-thin-strand-of-cloud expands, dissipating its rich storehouse of wisdom, enriching its surroundings (or polluting it, depending on the nature and characteristics of the person in consideration)... Finally, the soul merges into nothingness, going back to where it came from, sometimes after having realized the truth it had set out to seek... This particular life form is remembered and lives through many more generations in the minds of people, depending upon the degree of its value-add to the society...

And somewhere, another little trickle of cloud emerges from nothingness to fill the void - to fulfill its own mission - to mark the birth of yet another person... and thus continues the circle of birth and death...

Fachha here, Fachha there, Fachha-Fachha Everywhere...

The campus is now overflowing with the recent additions to the scenic brick-decorated campus - the Fachha-bachhas... Trailed about constantly by harried-looking parents with CONCERN written in bold all over their faces while their wards swagger around, confident and self-assured (atleast on the surface), chests puffed up with pride at the thought of having belled the CAT, trying to bravely act as if their parents didn't exist, desperately trying to find some group of fellow-fachhas they think they can identify themselves with... while (possibly) quaking inside with fear, scared by the stories they have heard about life on campus : the sleepless nights and hectic days !
The Tuchhas can be identified by their typical 'alag-sa' swagger - a statement by itself that sez - "Oh ye lowest forms on earth ! Look at us, who've risen in glory and are now the reigning spirits who haunt this campus, flaunting our free time and tuchha-specific-previleges !"

The latest happenings on campus and the sight of the fachhas scurrying about reminded me of similar days same time last year, when our batch stepped into the insti to form the next layer of MBAs to graduate from the much-talked about best B-School in Asia... The very thought of the journey of a fachha thru fachhadom evoked fond memories and set the philosophical machinery of my brain in motion, resulting in some random scribblings of mine which any interested reader can peruse at leisure on my other blog, Soul Speaketh...

Of course, I identify myself with the latter species, though I cant exactly say how much of a swagger I put on... An amused smile on my lips, I watch in silence as I hear fachhas talking among themselves about the gyan they have got from their seniors, in the dorm and without... comparing notes about life on campus and the various systems in place to facilitate their orientation to and induction into the system of PGP...
It seems as if it were just yesterday that I was in the same position myself, amazed at the campus, the facilitating systems, the kind of help and support the seniors seem ready to extend, and so on and so forth - the list is endless... One year has passed since, and I've learnt loads of stuff - academic and otherwise - have grown a lot more wiser; This place definitely has the capability to transform each one of us in some way or the other - it ensures, with its high-stress environment and other uniquely peculiar ways, that we emerge as competent individuals who can hold our own at any given point of time with a comfort and ease thats strangely re-assuring to oneself and gives a kind of confidence most of us have never felt before...

Sigh ! One year already gone by... Time does fly, doesn't it ? I just can't imagine that I will be out of this place in less than a year and that might probably even mark the end of my life as a student - but then - I guess such thoughts and further contemplation on them can be reserved for later, much nearer to the time in question...

Back to FORM... Live from Ahmedabad...

I know precisely how an iron filing feels if it is tied tightly to a post and a magnet is kept just out of its reach - of course - if the poor iron filing has a heart...
After three days of Chennai and three days of Bangalore - and then being transported from the cool garden city to the blazing lands of Ahmedabad, my feelings have very closely resembled that of the afore-mentioned poor iron filing... The bright sun who unflinchingly stares down at us in all his 41 degrees of glory unfortunately cannot be glared back at and put in his rightful place - the hot rays he generously bestows upon us have to be accepted humbly... It is perhaps the heat, or perhaps the few days I had at home, chatting with my folks after such a long time, wandering about in and out of my home fondly looking at and feeling the familiar objects that kindle sweet memories, or perhaps, the sight of my room on campus, the familiar brick walls of IIMA and my favourite haunts, nooks and corners of this place thats gotten to me... whatever be the reason, I had been feeling, for the past few days, pangs of some sort of feeling I cannot exactly put my finger on - something that seems to ask me - What are you doing here ? Is this what you exist for ? What exactly are you going to do in life ?... and so on...

I know these are zillion-dollar questions that take ages to answer - but at the root of these unsolved mysteries lies a very simple fact - I was homesick ! (atleast, thats my diagnosis...)
I felt homesick for almost the first time ever since I came to this city on June 23rd last year... When realization dawned upon me, I was taken aback by surprise coz I never thought that I would be the kind of person who would feel homesick, though I do love my folks and long to be with them etc. etc... I always prided on the thought that I was blessed with the ability to get easily adjusted to any place - as a person who loves travelling, I always was of the opinion that I am not the type who feels the need to hang on to one single place every second of my life... Probably the heat, or the thought that this would probably be the last year of my 'student life', or the taste of the nectar called home that I'd got when I went back for those 6 days made me feel this way...
Guess it will get alright once I settle down back into my usual routine here and start spending more time with my friends - once I start actively engaging myself in the wide array of activities I'm generally used to, the idle mind will turn from the devil's workshop that was spewing out the fire called homesickness into a heavenly garden filled with the strong invigorating scent of exotic flowers, nurtured by the energy dissipated by the machinery thats my brain...

Waiting eagerly for my spirits to rise...
Looking forward to the year ahead...

Logging in from Bangalore - 'chilling' away to glory !

Three days of incessant subjection to remarks like "Its been so long since I last saw you" and "Karuthu elachhi poitte" (for the benefit of non-tams, it translates into "You've grown darker and thinner since I saw you last") did not help my ego too much... I felt exactly the way a particularly weak drumstick would feel after being burnt fully black !
3 days of that in Chennai coupled with staying up until the wee hours of morning participating in the 3-day long 'Utsavam' left me so drained and weary that my eyes shut automatically the moment my head touched the hard berth in the train that was scheduled to bear me full speed to Banglore. My brain usurped power from me and took over, giving my body the much-needed sleep it had been demanding - I was so tired that even the regular rhythmic motions of the train which, under normal circumstances, would have resulted in a sleepless night with me twisting this way and that, morphed into a kind of hypnotising lullaby ! That, combined with the God-sent torrential downpour that came crashing on our heads in dry hot thirsty Chennai just before we left, managed to soothe me and lull me into a dreamless blissful sleep.

Waking up in Bangalore proved to be an amazing experience - the early morning reddish hue of the sky with the black sillhouette of the skyline and the cool breeze that gently caressed my cheeks - all that worked in unison to revive me and had me glued like a magnet to the window at 5.15 in the morning, which is remarkable, considering the state I was in the night before (nothing but the fact that the train was scheduled to halt at Cantt at 5.30 would have helped achieve this feat)
Once home in Banglaore, with a mock ritual, I sacrificed the day very generously (it did not need much goading) to a state of complete rest, curling up with a novel in a deep chair in the balcony overlooking the green Cubbon Park, getting frequent whiffs of fresh air from the swaying eucalyptus trees; a complete contrast to the hectic 3 days of 'holidays' at home in Chennai... Nevertheless, home is always home - whichever way you spend the time there...

So I humbly request you to leave me in that same state of peace relaxing blissfully at home in Bangalore... until I pick up my lethargic self and pen my next blog...

Back in Business... Straight from the oven called Chennai !

Phew !!! I feel as if i'm under a barrage of reproachful doleful looks from my poor un-updated blog - chastising me for the long duration of disinterest I've seemingly displayed...
Of course - little does my poor blog know about the kinds of pressures I've been subjected to from so many other directions... With the end-of-internship presentation and report submission hanging over my head menacingly like a guillotine's horror combined with the peaceful complacency-inducing dreams of home-sweet-home, I was trying to jiggle around all the last minute visits and courtesy calls, and running a highly complex system of dynamic scheduling every second, with the starting point being my guide's schedule and his free time which proved to be quite a scant resource indeed !
However, nothing takes forever, u know... So finally that day dawned when I was done with the presentation, had had a nice little chat with the BU head, my guide and other people-who-matter in office... raised myself a few notches higher in terms of the respect, appreciation and good words people had for me... and was ready to leave bustling Bombay with its breezy 'watery' Drive, the famous vada-pavs, tall towers and multiplexes... the financial capital of India...
I took one deep breath of the Mumbai air and one last lingering look at the tiny toy-like city spread out below me as I zoomed away, gaining altitude - destination : Chennai !

As I flew into the loving arms of my eagerly waiting parents, I heard the familiar whirr of the water lorry, smelled the yummy coffee my grandmom was making for me, felt the soft fur of my cute bubbly kittens and heard the smile in my aunt's voice as she called out my name from inside the house. The familiar sight and smell of dear ole' home hit me hard and strong - my heart throbbed with a dull ache as I counted 5 months since I had last set foot here... I felt guilty looking at my grandmom ever so frail and weak, gazing lovingly at me, successfully masking the taunting voices that shouted in her head - "She's going to run away back again in 3 days !"
With a big sigh I stepped into my room - the one with a special view of the front gate - it was just as I had left it, with one of our kittens being the sole claimant to the seat of honour - my study desk and chair ! She lazily looked at me when I entered and climbed down slowly after a leisurely stretch, sacrificing what she thought was rightfully hers in a bout of generosity, with a look that said "Oh - U are back... What an inconvenience ! Hmmm... U can have my seat for a coupla days - I won't mind!"
The familiar surroundings, the welcoming grin of my dad coupled with one of his humorous one-liners, the touching concern of my mom, the challenge-for-friendly-duel looks of my aunt who I forever mistake for and think of as my playmate, friend and guide (which she is) and the caring royal treatment I recieve at the hands of my grandmom armed with delicacies which I truly relish... the combined force of the attack of all this leaves me aching for more - for a life of leisure and plenty - lying lazily around the house, treated like a princess !
And then some quality time spent at my dance and music classes chatting with my teachers and friends, dancing and singing away blissfully, glad to be back once again amidst all I truly love... and who reciprocate the love unconditionally...
Theres a three day function going on at my house which leaves zilch time for looking up old contacts and chatting with 'long-lost' friends... Nevertheless, I plan to definitely make time before I leave to revive old contacts and chat with old friends like the olden golden days of my childhood !

Oops ! Now I can hear the voice of my mom summoning me to my duties as a hostess, to welcome guests, to enquire after the 30-odd people who've gathered under our roof, to play the omnipresent helpful hostess (pretending to be useful, with my real utility being limited to asking my family members if I can be of any help), and to participate in the function as I should be doing, instead of being couped up in my room typing away to glory in order to pacify my poor neglected blog...

So am now bidding goodbye, until later...